Dear Minerva
I have just returned from my fortnight away in Rome (which was very enjoyable) and am facing up to sorting out my mail. I imagine you are just finishing your hols about now - I hope you have had a wonderful time!
I wanted to raise the issue of the DADA position. Our options are somewhat limited so if you have a brainwave, please let me know.
Severus (who, to the best of my knowledge, hasn't budged from the dungeons since I went away) delivered his completed application form in person and forced me to sign a receipt. So for once I cannot insist that he merely imagined submitting it.
Best wishes
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Argus
Thank you for your letter - your vivid powers of description quite take my breath away!
However, your proposals regarding detentions are slightly out of step with the times. I cannot endorse them and expect the parents would find them equally objectionable. So I must refuse your request for the installation of the various appliances you describe so movingly.
How is the home study course coming along, by the way?
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Severus
Thank you for your letter, which I read with great interest.
However, unless you can present evidence to support your claim, I should be more wary of making such accusations against any student. Besides, invisibility cloaks are very rare indeed and, to the best of my knowledge, Mr Potter lacks the means to go about procuring one.
Incidentally, the other day I noticed that Ye Olde Bumper Book of Horrible Curses from the restricted section has been loaned out to you for the past 3 months.
I do not wish to pry, Severus, but have you had any sort of break this summer? You really ought to have a holiday, even if only of sorts. Why not take a deckchair onto the grounds and relax in the fresh air? Take a good book with you - something lighthearted and cheering (see enclosed).
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Minerva
I am so pleased that you enjoyed your trip! No, I have never been to Cullen but shall certainly consider it for next summer. Thank you for the delightful postcard, by the way.
Much as I hate to disappoint you, I am turning down your request to have haggis added to the regular school menu. It is, if you will pardon my saying so, something of an acquired taste and one that has so far eluded me. Happily, though, I fully agree with your thoughts on pineapple-upside-down pudding and I shall forward the idea to the kitchens. It is a great favourite of mine also!
Of course, I've received the usual blood-thirsty suggestions from Argus, heralding the start of a new school year, and Severus has already starting sniping. In fact, thinking about it, he never stopped. I wish he would get out more.
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Severus
First, let me assure you that my comments about deckchairs and fresh air were quite sincere and I did not mean for them to sound facetious. As it happens, I had NOT realised that the weather had taken such a turn for the worse that afternoon - how unfortunate.
I only enclosed that book because Minerva recommended it to me as a very enjoyable light read. Your suggestion as to where Miss Jones could put her diary was quite uncalled for.
As for the rest, Severus, you know that I always take you very seriously. And of course I respect your privacy. If you require Ye Olde Bumper Book of Horrible Curses on extended loan for perfectly innocent and legitimate reasons then yes, that is your concern and not mine.
As my grandmother used to say, 'Everyone should have a hobby'.
But the heated nature of your response only increases my concern that you have not had a proper holiday this summer. Incidentally, I hope you like pineapple-upside-down pudding - have you ever tried it?
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Minerva
A quick note demanding an urgent response. Time is running out and again we find ourselves sans Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.
Lockhart's agent has been owling me constantly. Gilderoy is being interviewed tomorrow for a two-page spread in the Daily Prophet's Sunday supplement and they are pushing for a decision before then.
That fact notwithstanding, my instinct would be to give him a go. If nothing else, it ought to prove a very character-building experience - for ALL of us. What do you think, honestly?
Albus
Dear Professor Lockhart
It is my pleasure to offer you the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am sorry that this delayed decision did not reach you in time for your interview last weekend.
This contract will take effect from 1st September. Please sign the enclosed contract and return one copy, retaining the other for your own records.
I look forward to welcoming you to Hogwarts.
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Professor Lockhart
Apologies - my fault entirely. When I asked you to retain a copy of the contract, I meant for you to retain the unsigned copy with the words 'PLEASE RETAIN THIS COPY FOR YOUR RECORDS' printed in huge bold letters across the top.
I am returning your copy. Please let us have the signed contract as soon as possible.
Thank you
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Professor Lockhart
Thank you for your letter. I have forwarded your comments on to Housekeeping and they will endeavour to meet your requirements. However, there are a couple of issues I would like to raise.
Firstly, no member of staff has a whole floor of the castle to themselves. I appreciate that you are something of a 'special case', but even so I am afraid that you will have to make do with the usual staff quarters. These are very cosy and I am confident that you will be very comfortable there.
Secondly, your gift of 200 signed copies of your new book for our library is much appreciated! However, the decision to put a particular book on the official list of reading material is subject to approval. Unfortunately for Magical Me, the booklist has already been approved by the Governors and distributed to students.
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
p.s. Unfortunately, our library cannot accommodate all the books you so kindly sent us, so we are putting most of them into temporary storage.
Dear Professor Lockhart
Thank you so much for the invitation to your book signing. Sadly, I shall not be able to attend but wish you all the best with it.
It is common knowledge that Harry Potter is a student here. He spends the summer with his family and is currently staying with a friend.
No doubt Mr Potter will be very pleased to have you as one of his teachers, but your idea of a joint press conference is quite innappropriate and I trust it is one you will not pursue.
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Severus
I am sorry if my bulletin to the staff has come as a shock to you - I thought everybody knew that Gilderoy Lockhart was a serious contender for DADA.
May I remind you that we have spoken on this matter before and that my opinion, much discussed, remains unchanged. Besides, it would only leave me with the equally-thorny problem of trying to find a new Potions Master! Finding anyone who could match your enthusiasm for the role would be quite impossible, I fear.
I spotted you leaving dinner last night and you were looking extremely pale and tense. I really do wish you had taken a proper holiday this summer.
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
Dear Minerva
Did you see it in the Prophet? I was angered at first, believing that Lockhart had somehow engineered the whole thing, but apparently it was just an unfortunate coincidence. Poor Harry!
The new appointment did not go down well in certain quarters, as you can imagine, and I don't think it would take much to tip him over the edge at the moment. Let's hope that young Mr Potter et al do not give him any cause to go off on one and start demanding expulsions....
I have received an anonymous communication saying, 'HAHAHA DUMBLEDORE THIS YEAR IS YOUR LAST HAHAHA THE MUDBLOODS ARE DOOMED HAHAHA BLOOD EVERYWHERE SAY YOUR PRAYERS GOOD RIDDANCE TO THE LOT OF YOU HAHAHA.'
It's the same every year - I do wish Lucius would refrain from such childishness.
I hope you are looking as forward as I am towards the students arriving tomorrow and the feast! Lockhart has already arrived and made himself (and his book) known to all within a 5 mile radius. He has demanded an extra wardrobe and intends sending round a memo to all staff, introducing himself and asking them not to wear anything that clashes with turquoise tomorrow night.
It's going to be one of those years.
Albus Dumbledore